


Baby Loves Discowear

by AbbyBanks



Category: DCU - Superdictionary
Genre: Community: fortycakes, Crack, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-10-02
Updated: 2010-10-02
Packaged: 2017-10-12 08:57:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 636
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/123162
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AbbyBanks/pseuds/AbbyBanks
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"I don't want Nightwing to think he has cornered the market in disco wear," Lex said.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Baby Loves Discowear

[](http://s357.photobucket.com/user/abbybanks_bucket/media/guard.png.html)

Lex Luthor ate forty **cakes.** He ate forty baked sponge desserts. After that, his hot purple and green evil disco outfit was too **small.** The dimensions of the outfit were no longer sufficient. It compressed his bloated belly uncomfortably, and he had to wear his baggy grey **jumpsuit** instead. He had to wear an item of clothing which was last fashionable in the 80's, rather than his disco outfit which was never trendy ever.

"I don't care," he said. "I am an evil genius mastermind, and I can get away with making outré fashion statements. Besides, this baggy outfit gives **the boys** plenty of room. It allows lots of space for my ample genitalia. If people don't like my jumpsuit, I will commit evil acts of **revenge** on them and their families. I will do things that make them sorry they mocked my sexy grey jumpsuit."

Despite his assertions, Lex missed his disco outfit.

"I don't want Nightwing to think he has cornered the market in discowear," he said. "I know. I have heard about a **beautiful stone** on display here in Metropolis. There is an attractive rock here in Metropolis. If I steal the beautiful stone, then I can make its owners give me a bitchin' new disco outfit which is even funkier than the purple and green one, and which has more room for my stomach after any future dessert-related shenanigans."

Lex did some **research.** He carried out an investigation into the beautiful stone. He put 'beautiful stone' into Google. Eventually, he got past the 33,841 entries about beautiful stone country cottages, and found the location of the stone which was visiting Metropolis. He left his evil lair, and made his way to the place where the stone was being kept. He climbed onto a rooftop, and looked down on the beautiful stone.

"What the hell?" he asked "Why is this beautiful stone being kept **outside?** Why is it being kept out of doors, not in a building or undercover? And what is wrong with that display stand? The **perspective** is all wrong. All the angles are odd. It is as though I were looking down in it almost from directly above, which would make this building improbably high. And the **perspective** of the guards is different to that of the display. Either that or the guards all have one leg shorter than the other, making them lean away from me."

The strange perspective set off Lex's **vertigo**. It made him feel dizzy and off-balance, and he had to close his eyes and look away. He went back to his lair empty handed and with a migraine.When he reached his lair, he sat in front of his TV and sulked. Just then, an advert began.

"Had an accident at work that wasn't your fault?" asked the man on the advert. "You could be entitled to **compensation**. You could be entitled to some cash which we will get for you, in return for a 50% cut."

Lex called the number on the screen. The **compensation** people went away and sued the owners of the beautiful stone for causing Lex distress and making him feel so poorly.

A few days later they came round to Lex's lair with a big silver gift box for him. Lex opened the box to find a funky new disco outfit in pink and orange.

"We have got your compensation," they said. "Are you sure you don't want any money? We don't really want 50% of your disco outfit."

Lex didn't answer. He smiled happily and stroked his beautiful new outfit. The compensation people backed quietly out of the room, and left him alone with it. Lex was so preoccupied with his new outfit that he didn't do anything evil for the rest of the week.

And that's _wonderful_.

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the [Forty Cakes](http://fortycakes.livejournal.com) community on LJ. Also comes with a [DRAMATIC READING](https://m.box.com/view_shared/5j7pscsbca) by [](http://dizmo.livejournal.com)**[dizmo](http://dizmo.livejournal.com)**!


End file.
